Spiritual Take-Aways from Our Summer of Fun

According to the calendar, there are still some summer days left. However, our children will be starting a new school year in a couple of weeks. And so, we are winding down from our summer of fun. My family has engaged in a number of activities and vacations this summer. We traveled to Southern California, Eastern Nevada, and Northwestern Colorado over the past three months. We have camped, seen plays, visited museums, seen and read about animals, and so much more. I have kept a list of those summer activities, but I have also been mentally recording some of the spiritual truths we have learned over this time. Here are some of those truths.

            The Bond of Family is Important. My wife, two children, and I spent a great deal of time together this summer. We also vacationed with both my parents and my in-laws. The kids got to meet extended family during this time, as well. We have bonded as a family, and we are closer today than we were at the start of the summer. Was it always easy to be together as a family? Heavens, no. We had arguments. We grew tired of being around each other. The kids were at times unruly. And there were times when I, too, was unruly. But, we did grow closer through it all (and found out more about each other than we may care to have known).

I have gained a greater appreciation for the importance of family. There are times when I desperately want to retreat from my family. But, I am so fond of them and truly enjoy being with them. In today’s hectic, fast-paced culture, it can be easy to be distant from family. Even when we are in the same room, we may be worlds away as we engage with our smart phones and tablets instead of the people sitting next to us. Many of our adventures kept us from those distracting elements. We camped in the mountains of Colorado, 9400 feet above sea level, with no electricity or running water. So, we spent time as a family. As we traveled to eastern Nevada, we traveled on the self-proclaimed “Loneliest Road in America.” In the middle of the desert, we entertained each other with conversation and music. In Southern California, we knew nobody, and relied on each other to get to the right location and to watch over each other.

            Sometimes, as I read the Bible, I too quickly pass over the passages dealing with the bond of family. I forget that Abraham, Jacob, David, and other biblical figures relied on family in ways that we do not today. I glance over the passages in which we are told that we are now part of God’s family, adopted children of the King. We are told that God is a nurturing and loving Father, who gives generously to His children as He protects and watches over them. As I watched my children place their trust in me and my wife in unfamiliar surroundings, those passages resonated in a new way. And those passages challenge me, too. Do I trust God in the way that my children trust in me when they are unsure of a situation or unsure of their surroundings?

            God Has Created a Multifaceted World that is Harmoniously United. We saw and experienced so much this summer. We saw the wonder of God’s natural creation. We got to see elk, deer, coyotes, and birds in their natural environs. We read about arctic seals, moose, and blue whales. We experienced the creative wonder of marvelous singers, actors, artists, and musicians. We experienced first-hand the diversity of our world. We were able to appreciate classical music, children’s music, folk music, rock, country, and ‘80s new wave music (my son became a fan). We saw classic art and modern art. One could argue that we experienced so many differences throughout the summer. But, I see the harmony in the midst of that diversity.

I think we experienced this most clearly on our camping trip. My son is beginning to understand cause and effect. He is beginning to understand the intricacy of the natural world. He sees how some animals feed off the land, while other animals feed off each other. And while that is sometimes difficult to explain, he does understand a sense of harmony in it all. While we may not completely understand the balance of the natural world, we appreciate it. Spiritually, I stand in awe of a God who does understand it well. I cannot understand how someone can see all the intricacies of the natural world and not see the hand of a marvelous Creator in it all. How can one witness the marvel of an opera voice, or a rock voice, or an accomplished harpist, or a spoken-word poet and not feel in her soul the workings of an Other? All of our diverse experiences led to many discussions in this vein. I think my kids have a sense of awe at the diversity and wonder of God’s creative force.

            Take Time to Pray. There were a couple of times when the only thing I knew to do was to pray for others. While traveling that “Loneliest Road in America” my kids and I saw the after effects of a roll-over car accident. When we passed the accident, paramedics were carrying a man on a stretcher to an emergency vehicle. I don’t know the extent of his injuries. I don’t know if there were others in the vehicle. My children were of course curious about the accident, asking what happened and if the man would be O.K. In honesty, I could not answer their questions, so I suggested we pray for him. And we did.

            On our final night of camping, the next camping spot was occupied by hard-drinking, foul-mouthed campers who were loud far beyond the quiet hour. They made our final night with my in-laws an unpleasant evening. As we left the campground the next day, my wife and I talked about the unpleasant evening, the campers disregard and disrespect for the other camper, and how it really affected our camping experience. Then, we decided that the best thing we could do was to pray for those campers. And we did.

            As I put my son to bed at night, I have heard him praying before he drifts off to sleep. He is five-years-old, so his prayers are often selfish. He often asks God for things that he wants, as if God is a magic genie. But, his prayers are sometimes right on target.  My son’s innocent prayers are a gentle reminder that I should take everything to my Father. And as he falls to sleep, I pray that he and his sister will someday place their faith in Jesus. I have no control over that, just as I had no control over the health of the roll-over victim or the neighbor campers, so I leave it in God’s hands.

            The Power of Death My son wanted to go fishing during our camping trip more than anything. He talked about fishing for quite some time. He always said we would catch our fish and eat our catch. But, when the time came to fish, the magnitude of death became real to him. It started as his Grampa hooked a worm to the fishing pole. My son realized that the worm would have to die in the course of the fishing. He was noticeably distraught about the worm losing its life. As a result, we had to ask Grampa to bait the hook with salmon eggs instead of worms (please don’t tell my son about the life inside a salmon egg!). And so, we transported a container of worms 1,000 miles to their new home in our vegetable garden. When we caught a fish, my son once again understood the gravity of the experience, and wanted the fish returned to the lake. So we had a catch and release fishing extravaganza.

Once he was faced with the reality of death, and his responsibility in that death, my son was very uncomfortable. I got to talk to him about the experience while the others continued fishing. I told him that it is a big deal that those animals would die, and that I could understand if he was not ready to be a part of their demise. Then he caught me off guard. He said that it was just like when Adam and Eve sinned and God let them kill animals so that Adam and Eve would have clothing to cover their nakedness. He made the connection between sin and death in a way that I would not have expected from a five-year-old. So, we took time to talk about that truth that humankind’s sin did bring about death. It was a great discussion. Will my sensitive son want to fish (or hunt) again? I don’t know. But, I thank God for the very powerful discussion my son and I got to have about sin and death.

What a fantastic summer. There is so much more that we have experienced, and so much more that I have learned. I am so grateful to God for His goodness and the gift of relationships.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

A Summer Smorgasbord for the Senses.

My family is busier than ever this summer. We have a calendar jam-packed with events. This is the first summer break that my son has (he completed kindergarten this year), so I decided to pack as much adventure and learning into the summer as I could. We are doing the traditional summer activities (swimming, camping, running through the sprinklers, going to a baseball game, etc.). But, we also have filled the calendar with opportunities for our children to experience new and different things. Thankfully, we live in a region that has a plethora of free events. So, we have been able to go to art museums, science museums, symphony concerts, plays, and ballets for free. We have found many other low-cost forms of entertainment. Here are some of the things I have discovered during our summer smorgasbord for the senses.

            Kids are willing to try almost anything. I really didn’t think I would get much buy-in when I announced to my son that we would be going to his sister’s dance recital. I was surprised when he enjoyed it, and begged to go back after the intermission to watch the remainder of the show. My daughter surprised me when she enjoyed our trip to the state railroad museum. I think she could have sat in the caboose all day long. My children are five-years-old and three-years-old, so I did not expect a lot from them. But, I have been pleasantly surprised with their willingness to try some new things. Yes, there have been times when they have objected to going to events. But, in general, they have made the most of their time once we get to the events.

            But, don’t push them beyond what they can handle. There are times when I know that we have a limited time to experience events. I was pleased that my kids sat through twenty minutes of the symphony concert, but I know I couldn’t push them to do thirty minutes. Our visits to museums have seemed like whirlwind journeys, where we leave the museum behind in the flurry of our running through its halls. When we went to the art museum, I was able to ask my kids some very basic questions about some paintings, but I knew that I couldn’t push too much (and it certainly wasn’t time for a lecture on art history and different art movements). So, we are learning over the summer months, but not doing too much. Summer, after all, should afford a child opportunity to rest from study and have fun.

            Find some new things to learn in the old-tried-and-true. Yes, we went to the zoo. And, we also talked about why some animals are predatory and some are not (a topic that fascinates my son). When we go camping soon, we probably will look at the stars, and have an opportunity to talk about the planets, and maybe mention how historically people used the stars for direction. The yearly vegetable garden has given me an opportunity to talk about our senses and talk about how our bodies become healthy with good foods. At this stage in their lives, my kids are wildly inquisitive, so I seek opportunities to have small teaching moments as they ask question and wonder.

            I am learning much through these experiences, too. I don’t know much about dance, or symphonic music. Modern art seems pointless to me. I was at a loss for words while trying to describe a mirage to my son. How do you tell a five-year-old that his eyes are deceiving him? And how do you explain that there is a reason why his eyes are deceiving him with a mirage? We have attended many events that are not “my thing.” During these times, I am learning too, and finding a greater appreciation for stuff that isn’t “my thing.” Since I take the time to try to engage the kids in these events, I have had to learn a little about dance, art, symphonic music, trains, and other things. That has been good for me.

            We have many opportunities to show kids the creative power of God. Why did God create so many varieties of animals? Why are some plants helpful to humans and some dangerous? How many stars are there? Why is the universe so vast and different? Why are there so many varieties of wood, flowers, fauna, fish, etc.? Why are our bodies designed in such an intricate way? How can someone be so creative in an art form like watercolor painting, or tap dancing, or playing the French horn? Is it alright to marvel at an athlete’s physical prowess? As we have experienced such variety over the course of this summer, it has given us ample opportunities to talk about the creative wonders of God. My kids have a fuller appreciation for how wonderful His creation is and how amazing His creative powers are. This has been the most enjoyable part of our summer for me. I have had the joy of watching my children marvel in the majesty of God and learn about the variety of His creation.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

What an Oversized Mouse Taught Me About Family

My family recently returned from a Southern California vacation. We went to Disneyland and California Adventure. During our time at the theme parks, I took note of a number of things Disney did attempting to make our experience one which we would remember. How could the “Happiest Place on Earth” teach me about creating happiness within my family? Let me share with you some of the lessons I learned from Mickey Mouse and his cohorts.

            Stick with the Classics: Disneyland remains basically the same as when I first visited in the 1980’s. You’ll find the same rides (although a couple, like Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, and The Nemo Submarine, have been updated to better represent more recent movies). You can still watch “Steamboat Willie,” the original Mickey Mouse film on Main Street. You can get your pictures taken with the classic Disney characters. I feel at home when I visit the park because I know what to expect. There are not a lot of changes. Shouldn’t it be the same with family? You know what to expect. The classics remain in place. You can trust that on Christmas Eve, someone will read the Christmas story from the Gospel of Luke. And, might I be so bold as to suggest that even though there are many expression of family in today’s world, the traditional family unit still has intrinsic value. It’s a classic, and people find comfort in the traditional.

            Know What the People Want and Give it to Them:  I went to Disneyland shortly after the release of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” The park promoted that movie to excess. Quasimodo and Esmeralda were everywhere. The problem was that the film, as good as it was, was not a family friendly movie. I think Disney learned something from that excessive promotion of one movie. Today at the park, you’ll find those characters that have stood the test of time and are beloved by so many. Quasimodo isn’t to be found. You’re out of luck if you want to see Hercules or characters from “The Black Cauldron.” Even the recent “Brave” is scarcely represented in the park (you can meet Merida and have a picture taken with her) and Wreck-It Ralph was nowhere to be seen. You see, the Disney folks know what people want. They want to see Peter Pan, Dumbo, Snow White, Cinderella, and Donald Duck. And the Disney folks deliver. Years ago when I visited the park, it was sometimes difficult to find the characters and get pictures taken with them. Not so today. People want to meet Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and Donald Duck, so Disney has created a place at the entrance of the park to meet them. You can also meet Mickey at his house and Minnie at her house in Toontown. My daughter loves Cinderella, Ariel, and Rapunzel. Guess what? Disney has created a meet-and-greet area where you can talk to the princesses. Looking for Tinker Bell? She can be found at Pixie Hollow. Disney is aware of what people are looking for and has delivered. You not only find your classic rides, but you can get your picture taken with your favorite classic characters. You should have seen the look of wonder on my daughter’s face as she got to talk to Cinderella. Her look was rivaled only by my son’s awe last year when he got to meet Woody. As a leader in my family, it is important that I know what each member of the family wants and needs. To the best of my ability, I should be able to deliver (within reason) on what each family member wants. Does someone need more time and attention? Does someone need more reassurance? If I know what my family members want, I can better deliver on those desires or those needs.

            The Journey is As Important As the Payoff: When you go to a Disney theme park, you know that you will have to wait in line. It’s one of the three givens in life; you know, death, taxes, and waiting in line for Splash Mountain. But, the Disney engineers have brilliantly taken time to make the wait in line as enjoyable as possible. They have created an experience at each queue. You are treated to scenes from movies while waiting in line. Buildings, artwork, and props create ambiance as you wait in line for a ride. In some venues, the attention to detail given is just as good a payoff as the actual ride. Yes, there would be a great letdown if there was no ride at the end, but I found some of the details from the line just as enjoyable as some of the rides. The same can be true in family life as well. Often, we look to the end game and forget what comes in between. For example, I can be so invested in teaching my son how to tie laces on his shoes, that I forget to see the growth during the process. We can be so invested in getting that kid through sixth grade math, that we fail to see her development throughout the sixth grade year. Would we feel let down if we invested time and effort in developing a character trait in a child and never see it materialize? Of course we would feel let down. But, I sometimes forget to enjoy the journey and only look for the final payoff.

            There Are Rules that Must Be Followed: Even at the Happiest Place on Earth, there are rules. You have to wait in line for rides. You must be a certain height to ride some attractions. You cannot special order your food at most restaurants. You must keep hands and legs inside your car at all times. The best way to maintain an enjoyable experience for everyone at the park is for everyone to adhere to Disney’s rules. If someone disobeys the rules, the ride may stop or the violator may be escorted out of the park. While Disney caters to what people want, there are still parameters to follow. The same is true in family life. While we do our best to give all family members what they want and/or need, there must be some guidelines and rules. Those who violate the rules lose some privileges. I want my kids to have opportunities to do so much, but there must be some boundaries set or else I am giving them a false understanding of how the world functions.

            Check Your Attitude at the Door:  Once the Disney staff enters the park, he or she represents the Disney brand. And that means that they must represent Disney in a positive manner. If they are having a bad day or worries, they must check those things at the door and put on a happy face. The only time you’ll see a grumpy Disney person is near Snow White and six other Dwarfs. This is a good reminder for me. Sometimes I let the worries and problems of my day to seep into time with family. However, my family needs me to put on my best attitude and invest my best in the moment. That isn’t easy, and I often fail. But, my time at Disneyland served as a reminder that this should be a primary objective in my life.

            Here’s to a great summer of making memories that will last a lifetime.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

The Sporting Life: What Our Kids Have Learned From Sports

My children love sports. My son lives and breathes sports. At five-years-old, he has been involved in soccer, hockey, and baseball. He wants to play football. He also has had swimming lessons and gymnastics lessons. My three-year-old daughter is taking a gymnastics class and a ballet class. She says she wants to play hockey when she is old enough. Although we have not forced our children into sports, when they have shown an interest, we have encouraged their participation. And our children are learning some great lessons through sports. Here are some lessons we all have learned from the sporting life.

Discipline Sports require discipline. I watch my daughter do the same ballet routine weekly. My son runs the same skating drills in hockey. Success in the sport comes from discipline and  practicing the routine. The great sports professionals became great through discipline. What a great lesson to learn. Likewise, in our Christian walk, we are told to be disciplined. In 1 Timothy 4:7, we read, “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.”

Perseverance In addition to discipline, my children are learning to persevere. Those skating drills make my son a better skater if he doesn’t give up. My daughter gains strength and agility as she practices skills over and over on a balance beam. And there are times when they fall, or get scored against. How they respond after these times is important. Will they get back up and get back in the game. That’s perseverance. The Christian walk is also one of persevering. In James 1:12 we read, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised for those who love him.”

Patience Along with perseverance, my children are learning patience. They are learning to be patient with their limited abilities. They also are learning to be patient with others. I am surprised how often my son or daughter, who both exhibit impatience with many things, will patiently wait for their turn to practice a routine. They may not have patience to wait for a desired toy, but they will not balk about waiting for a coach to instruct a teammate before addressing them. And similar to perseverance, I watch my children practice skills imperfectly now, knowing that they will develop these skills in time, with patience. The Christian walk calls for us to be patient with others, as Christ has been patient with us. In Colossians 3:12-13 we read, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another ...” In 1 Timothy 1:16 we read, “I received mercy for this reason, that in me … Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.”

Unity A team is successful if it is united. How often have we seen professional sport teams that do not have the most talented players win a championship because they were united? Our children are learning that one of the most important aspects of sportsmanship is supporting other team members. I was thrilled this past week to see my son, who is one of the more skilled players on his Tee-Ball team, cheer on and encourage some of the other players as they practiced batting and running. He may not always get along with all of his teammates, but I loved that he was encouraging them at the right time. In the Christian walk, we are instructed to be united under the Spirit. In Ephesians 4:1-3 we read, “I, therefore, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

            So while my children show interest in sports, we’ll allow them to participate. These times also give us the opportunity to speak some truths of Scripture into our children’s lives. It is fun to watch them grow in athletic ability and in the spiritual journey. Now, I need to go and register my son for Tiny Mite Football.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

God's Purposes in Little Hearts

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5

            I often forget that my children have been created by God with a plan for their lives. It sometimes seems difficult to know that they were created for eternity. I see their current state; their temper tantrums, or their whining over silly things. At these times, it is difficult for me to see them as God sees them.

            Throughout the Bible, we see that God uses a child to bring about his great plan. Isaac is the promised child given to Abraham and Sarah. Moses is the child who delivered from death, will grow up to lead God’s chosen people out of slavery in Egypt. Samuel is the answer to Hannah’s prayer for a child. Hannah gives her son to the Lord’s service. God speak to a young Samuel, giving him a prophecy and position as God’s priests. A young David is anointed the future king of Israel by Samuel. Jeremiah, and the other prophets, is born with a future mission to be God’s spokesperson. John is born to an elderly Elizabeth and Zechariah, and an angel promises that this child will be the promised Elijah, the forerunner of the Messiah. Jesus, born in humble circumstances, is the promised Messiah who brings salvation to the saints.

            I read these true stories, and I marvel at how God used these children for great things. But, I somehow forget that God is forming my own children with a purpose. Even now, the words I say to my children may be remembered for the rest of their lives. Even now, their minds are being formed by God, and the things I do and say have an influence on their future. I can remember things my parents said in my childhood that still affect me today. Yet, I can be careless with my words. I can react is anger or frustration, rather than calmly assessing a situation before responding. I am quicker to say, “Stop your whining” rather than “What is making you upset?”

            God told Jeremiah that before he was formed in the womb, that He had a purpose for Jeremiah’s life. I am sure the same is true for my children. God already knows what they will do in life. He knows if they will be obedient or disobedient to Him. He knows their influence on other people and other generations. He knows if my child will be an auto mechanic, or a ballerina, or a school teacher, or a banker. He knows how they will be used to advance the kingdom of God. And I am amazed that he has chosen me to help form these lives. Why me? How will my parenting be a positive or a negative influence on their development? What a responsibility. 

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Getting Away from It All with My Baby

Recently, my wife and I got a night away from the kids. A babysitter spent the night with our children as we went to a hotel for some rest and relaxation. We didn’t do anything exciting. We went out to dinner and ice cream and then spent the night watching some television at the hotel room. But it offered us the opportunity to get away and listen to each other. I was able to tell my wife about some professional things with which I was struggling. It was a time for us to reconnect with each other. We try to get away two or three times a year to reconnect and reaffirm our commitment to each other. Sometimes, we travel and visit other cities. Sometimes, like this most recent time, we are not too far from home.

The daily ebb and flow of life makes it essential for us to get away from it all. If you are like us, there is so much going on in your daily and weekly routine, that it becomes easy for your marriage to take a back seat to the routine. We have places to be, doctors appointments to get to, work tasks to complete, school lunches to make, vehicle maintenance to schedule, and bills to pay. In the craziness of life, it becomes easy to take the marriage for granted. Our times away afford us the opportunity to put focus back on our marriage.

There are times when we plan a getaway with the intention of forecasting and planning for the future. On one getaway, we planned some one-year and five-year goals for our family. Another time, we spent time intentionally holding hands and asking each other questions and listening to the answers given. And we are still dreaming of the blow-your-bank-account getaway when we travel to another city and indulge in the finest hotel rooms, eat at the priciest restaurants, and enjoy the greatest entertainment the city has to offer. We have discussed child-rearing, education, finances, and dreams during these getaways.

Most importantly, in our times away we are able to reset our marriage. Our time away always reaffirms the complete trust I have in my wife. It is a great time to enjoy time with my best friend. Sometimes, we have to be serious in discussing how we are neglecting each other or how we do not spend enough time in our “normal” lives making each other feel valued.

Our times away do not have to be costly. Sometimes, grandma watches the kids. We might eat on the cheap. Sometimes, we have gone to the grocery store and prepared most of our meals for little money. We can walk around a city and take in its ambiance without spending a dime. But, even if the getaway is pricier, it is worth every penny to reconnect.

Our retreats also are times when we can disconnect from the technological world. There are times when we don’t take computers, or check email or Facebook. What I have found is that we can fill our time with many time-wasting contraptions which isolate us from relationship. Not having the buzz of a computer or the distraction of a tablet can go a long way in helping us to reconnect to our relationship. Also, by extension, I have found that my relationship with my children is better after a retreat, because it becomes easier to put away those time-wasting tech toys.

The best part about our retreats is that I learn new things about my wife. Or, I re-learn her strengths as a person. I fall in love with her all over again. Our bond becomes stronger with each outing. I value her courage, her commitments, her ethics, and her faithfulness to her friends and her family in deeper ways. We will return to the real world. We will return to the routine, and we will get lost again in the routine. We will even disagree and fight again. But, when those times come, I have a reservoir of retreat memories that remind me of an amazing woman. Thank you, God. 

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Teaching a Child the Commands of God

“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7

            This command is given twice in the book of Deuteronomy. The men were to teach their children the ways of God. The men were to instruct their children on God’s commands. So, I started thinking about ways that we can teach our children according to this command. Obviously, times have changed since Moses delivered these words. And, these were instructions to the Hebrew people, but I still think they are applicable to Christians today. So, here are some ways that you can teach the commands of God diligently when 1) you sit in your house; 2) when you walk by the way; 3) when you lie down; and 4) when you rise.

            When you sit in your house

-          Tell what God has been doing in your life.

-          Let your children see you reading the Bible.

-          Discuss challenges in your daily routine and how you have responded to them in God-honoring ways.

-          Play a board game with your family. Consider ways the game can be used to teach some of the commands of God. For example, if your child moves her game piece further on the board than she should, use this as an opportunity to speak about cheating.

-          Discuss what is on the television screen. Do we see reflected on the screen values that are respectful of God’s commands?

-          Memorize scripture together.

When you walk by the way

-          Consider the wonder of the world God made as you drive your children to school.

-          Talk about the different types of people you see. Let your children know that all of these people are created in the image of God.

-          Talk about ways that God wants us to be stewards of the earth and how we are to care for the things of the earth.

-          Discuss ways that you have sinned against God and against His commands. Talk about some of the consequences of that sin in your life.

-          Consider the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Relate this to God’s transforming power in the life of a person.

-          Speak about the community found in a colony of ants, bees, etc. Discuss how we are to live in a community in a way that brings glory to God.

When you lie down

-          Pray with your children and for your children as you put them to bed.

-          Talk about the good things God has blessed you with that day, or in your life.

-          Tell them they are safe with you and that you will always protect them and that they find ultimate safety with the Lord.

-          Let them know that you love your spouse.

-          Tell them how God made them special.

-          Tell them you love them. You cannot say it enough.

When you rise

-          Start the day with prayer.

-          Let your children know that you are living this day to bring glory to God. Ask them to try to do the same.

-          Thank God for the start of a new day, for life, and for a new set of opportunities.

-          Quote simple scripture that you have memorized.

-          Offer a blessing to your child as he leaves for school.

These suggestions are most appropriate for a younger child (I'll discuss teaching a teenager when I cross that bridge). As your children grow older, you can do other things to teach them the commands of God. For example, my children are too young to memorize the Ten Commandments, but we have talked about some of the basic concepts behind those commands. As your children get older, you can be more proactive in directing conversations, and also encouraging them to act on behalf of others (for example, ask how an older child can befriend an outsider, or stand up for a child who is oppressed by peers).

We don’t have to do big things all the time. Teaching diligently does not have to involve a systematized family devotional night. But, we should seize every opportunity we are given to draw a child’s attention toward God. This can be done through scheduled events, but some of the most effective times I have found are unscheduled times when my children ask me questions about things they have heard during their school day. What a privilege God has given us to help form and direct a child’s heart to meet with and to know personally his or her Creator. 


For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

I Choose Courage

Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Joshua 1:6-7

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

            Courage is a choice. As I have been reading the book of Joshua, I have seen this constant refrain to be strong and courageous. I have read the book of Joshua many times, and I have noticed before this constant refrain. But, reading the book this time, I realized that being courageous was a choice that Joshua had to make. It was not natural.

Watch a little child. He is tentative. He seeks the reassurance of mom and dad before doing something new. He is unsure whether or not to leave the security of dad’s lap to try something new. As he grows up, he will realize that going with the flow is easier than sticking his neck out into a dangerous unknown. Yet, as that child grows up, he will be told that manhood is leading a life of courageousness. And that man will have to choose courage or irrelevancy.

            As I read the Bible, I do not get the sense that Joshua is tentative or cowardly. He and Caleb are sure that the Hebrew people can capture the Promised Land while 10 other men discourage the people from the pursuit. We do not read of Joshua being hesitant before leading decisive battle after battle in the Promised Land. So why is it that we read this constant refrain of “be strong and courageous” in the story of Joshua? I don’t think it’s because God does not trust Joshua. It is rather because Joshua, like all men, needs to be reminded that he is called to courageous living, and he must choose to be courageous.

            Joshua is commanded by Moses to be courageous (Deuteronomy 31:6 and 31:23).He is commanded by God to be courageous (Joshua 1:6; 1:9, and 1:18). He commands the Hebrew people to be strong and courageous in battle and in defending their land (Joshua 10:25; 23:6).

            We also read of other times when men are called to be strong and courageous. David tells his son, Solomon, to be strong and courageous when he is commission to build the first temple (1 Chronicles 28:20). King Hezekiah tells his troops to be strong and courageous when facing the more powerful army of Assyrian King Sennacherib (2 Chronicles 32:7).  These are both instances when one would need perseverance and courage to do what was being asked.

            It may seem easy for me to tell others to be courageous from the comfort of my office. I have never fought in a war (as did Joshua, David, and Hezekiah’s men, and so many men in my family). And I have the greatest respect for those people who have faced war and battles. I know that they had to make a choice to be strong and courageous, and that was a potentially costly choice to make. While I may not be called to the same life-threatening choice of courage, the decision for me to live courageously for my God, my family, and my friends is still an important choice.

            Jesus spoke of the cost of courageous Christian living. He told people that they would have to daily choose to follow him. He uses the imagery of carrying a cross. The people in his time understood that imagery better than we do today. The cross was the most gruesome form of capital punishment administered by the Roman Empire. One who carried a cross was mocked, humiliated, and rejected. And Jesus tells his followers that they must choose to “take up this cross” daily. It comes with a cost.

A Christian must choose to be strong and courageous. There are times when you may have to be courageous with a gun pointed at your head. There are also times when you must be courageous when your job is on the line, or your family is endangered, or your good name is mocked. There will be times when you must be courageous because no one else will stand up for what is true and right. These are the times when we must be prepared to be strong and courageous. These are the times when we must be reminded of why we are to be strong and courageous. It is at these times when it would be easier to go with the flow rather than sticking your neck out into the dangerous unknown. But, God calls us to something better.

            I choose courage.  I choose to be courageous for my wife and children, for my friends, and mostly for my Lord.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Telling the Truth

“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

I try to teach my children to tell the truth. I have told them that we are always to do what is right, and that includes telling the truth.

This week, the lesson was put to the test. Each week, my son has a scrimmage game at the end of his hockey practice. On this night, he was on the team that was winning. The score was 8-2. Practice time was ending, so the coach had the kids face off at center ice and said, “The score is tied 6-6. The next goal wins the game.” The other team scored the final and deciding goal.

As the kids were leaving the rink, some parents congratulated their kids on “winning the game.” 

“They’re lying,” my son told me. “My team won. We scored more goals.”

“Yes,” I told him, “I know.”

But the banter continued, and my son was upset. So, on the walk back to my car, I tried to explain to him what was happening. I told him that since his team was doing so well, and the other team was not doing well, the coach simply tried to encourage the other team by claiming the game was tied.

“But, it wasn’t tied, he was lying,” my son responded.

“Well, yes, he was, but he was just trying to encourage those kids. He didn’t want them to be upset and feel bad about themselves and never come back to hockey practice. He was just trying to make them feel better,” I replied.

“Well, they were lying. And if they lie again, I’m not going back to hockey ever again.”

At that moment, I knew that what I had said, as rational as it may have been, was the wrong thing to say. He was right. What the coach had said was not true. While it was “harmless” it was nevertheless a lie. My son was right to be upset about that.

“You’re right,” I told my son. “It would have been better if the coach had said, ‘The next goal wins the game’ rather than saying that the score was tied.” 

He agreed. You see, he would not have cared if after outscoring the other team, he had lost so long as the loss came from that rule than from an outright untruth.

The incident reaffirmed to me that telling the truth is important. It reaffirmed that I am right to teach my children that lying is wrong. But, it also showed me that standing up for what is right and true can at times be difficult. Was the coach’s lie a harmless one. Sure. But, my son is right; it was a lie, and that is wrong. 

The final lesson I learned from this incident is that our children are constantly watching us, and listening to us. Remember this. Do your actions match up with the words you say? Your children will know.

God affirms the truth. His son, Jesus, is the truth. And Jesus tells us that the adversary is a liar and the father of lies. God commands us in the Ninth Commandment that, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” This commandment has certain application in upholding the truth in a trial or courtroom setting. But, it also clearly implies that our words are to be true – without deception. Telling the truth is not always easy, but as my son showed me this week, it is always right. 

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Five Great Books for Christian Men

I do a lot of reading. Here are five books that I have read recently that I would recommend for Christian men and fathers. As you can see, some of these books have been out for a while, but they are great for a first read, or a re-read.

1)      Stepping Up (2011) by Dennis Rainey

Rainey’s book is a great read for any man seeking to leave a legacy of godliness to his family, or wondering how to lead a family in a godly path. Filled with personal stories and sage advice, I found the book to be a reminder that manhood carries with it many responsibilities that I must not neglect. The book is also a wellspring of quotes that can be used in many settings.

2)      Tender Warrior (2006) by Stu Weber

Weber looks at the important role a man plays in the life of his spouse, children, and friends. He reminds readers of the biblical precedent for being a strong person who is also loving and kind. Finally, he reminds men that we are accountable to God for all of our actions in family leadership.

3)      Conviction to Lead (2012) by Albert Mohler

Mohler lists 25 principles that are essential in every leader’s life. The principles have less to do with professional acumen and more to do with personal character. It is a great reminder that in whatever form of leadership (whether you lead a corporation, a classroom, or a family) your personal convictions and worldview are more important even than the decisions you make.

4)      Raising a Modern-Day Knight (2007) by Robert Lewis

Lewis walks through the process that he and two other friends took in raising their sons to be principled men of character. The three men developed a strategy for celebrating various manhood milestones in which their sons were “initiated” into a knighthood. The book is very practical. My son and I have started the conversation about what our family values should be and what our family crest should include. I’m looking forward to making a meaningful milestone ceremony when my son graduates from kindergarten this year.

5)      Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters (2007) by Meg Meeker

The pediatrician gives ten principles that men must remember when raising their daughters. Her principles are not surprising, but they are good reminders that fathers have a significant influence on their daughters throughout the girls’ lives. Her research serves to show that a father must protect his daughter from a culture that is increasingly against her healthy maturation into womanhood.

            I don’t think any of these books will teach you something new. But they all remind you to keep up the good fight, and to hold fast to those things that are true and righteous. And I think that we need those reminders regularly. They also offer encouragement, giving you strength to carry on when you feel that everything is against your doing what is godly and biblical. For these reasons alone, they are worth a read.