Getting Away from It All with My Baby

Recently, my wife and I got a night away from the kids. A babysitter spent the night with our children as we went to a hotel for some rest and relaxation. We didn’t do anything exciting. We went out to dinner and ice cream and then spent the night watching some television at the hotel room. But it offered us the opportunity to get away and listen to each other. I was able to tell my wife about some professional things with which I was struggling. It was a time for us to reconnect with each other. We try to get away two or three times a year to reconnect and reaffirm our commitment to each other. Sometimes, we travel and visit other cities. Sometimes, like this most recent time, we are not too far from home.

The daily ebb and flow of life makes it essential for us to get away from it all. If you are like us, there is so much going on in your daily and weekly routine, that it becomes easy for your marriage to take a back seat to the routine. We have places to be, doctors appointments to get to, work tasks to complete, school lunches to make, vehicle maintenance to schedule, and bills to pay. In the craziness of life, it becomes easy to take the marriage for granted. Our times away afford us the opportunity to put focus back on our marriage.

There are times when we plan a getaway with the intention of forecasting and planning for the future. On one getaway, we planned some one-year and five-year goals for our family. Another time, we spent time intentionally holding hands and asking each other questions and listening to the answers given. And we are still dreaming of the blow-your-bank-account getaway when we travel to another city and indulge in the finest hotel rooms, eat at the priciest restaurants, and enjoy the greatest entertainment the city has to offer. We have discussed child-rearing, education, finances, and dreams during these getaways.

Most importantly, in our times away we are able to reset our marriage. Our time away always reaffirms the complete trust I have in my wife. It is a great time to enjoy time with my best friend. Sometimes, we have to be serious in discussing how we are neglecting each other or how we do not spend enough time in our “normal” lives making each other feel valued.

Our times away do not have to be costly. Sometimes, grandma watches the kids. We might eat on the cheap. Sometimes, we have gone to the grocery store and prepared most of our meals for little money. We can walk around a city and take in its ambiance without spending a dime. But, even if the getaway is pricier, it is worth every penny to reconnect.

Our retreats also are times when we can disconnect from the technological world. There are times when we don’t take computers, or check email or Facebook. What I have found is that we can fill our time with many time-wasting contraptions which isolate us from relationship. Not having the buzz of a computer or the distraction of a tablet can go a long way in helping us to reconnect to our relationship. Also, by extension, I have found that my relationship with my children is better after a retreat, because it becomes easier to put away those time-wasting tech toys.

The best part about our retreats is that I learn new things about my wife. Or, I re-learn her strengths as a person. I fall in love with her all over again. Our bond becomes stronger with each outing. I value her courage, her commitments, her ethics, and her faithfulness to her friends and her family in deeper ways. We will return to the real world. We will return to the routine, and we will get lost again in the routine. We will even disagree and fight again. But, when those times come, I have a reservoir of retreat memories that remind me of an amazing woman. Thank you, God. 

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