I Want More, and More, and More

Note: This is part of an ongoing series on teaching biblical stewardship to our children.    

 

My three-year-old daughter dresses herself in the morning. None of the clothes that my wife or I pick for her are right, so she goes through her drawers and chooses her own clothes. Lately, she has started to layer her clothes. What started as a cute thing, has turned ugly. Yesterday morning, my daughter came into the living room wearing a sweater shirt, over a dress, over two shirts. She also had a tutu over the bottom portion of the dress and pants on underneath. She’s not dressing for winter weather. I think she’s trying to get all of her possessions on her body before going to daycare. We have to negotiate the number of clothes she can wear to school almost daily. And she’s not just a fashionista. We have the same negotiations about how many toys she may take to her school’s “Share Toy” day. The school allows one. She tries to stuff her backpack with a couple extra share toys. Our son also tries to stuff his backpack with too much or with things he should not take to school.

            Is this just a childish phase? Will they grow out of it and move on to something else? Possibly. But, I think there may be a more insidious, underlying idolatry occurring here. I think my children are worshiping the idol of possessions. And as my wife and I are trying to instill values of stewardship into their lives, we will need to work through this idolatry of possessions.

            Some of you may think I am being extreme, or worrying over nothing. However, I can see the trouble in store if my kids do not have a healthy response to their possessions. Paul warns about the dangers of a love of money (or possessions). He writes to Timothy that, “Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. It is through the craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs” (1 Timothy 6:9-10). Further on, Paul writes “As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, not to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life” (1 Timothy 6:17-19).

            Note, that Paul does not tell us that money is evil. Nor does he say that wealth is bad. But, he does caution us that we must be wary of a love of money and that those who are rich (and though my family is not wealthy, we are, compared to most of the world, secure), must understand the uncertainty of money and possessions. These are values that we are trying to teach our children. We frequently tell them that they are blessed financially in ways that so many others are not. We try to teach them that they have far more toys, or clothes, or food items than most kids in this world could ever dream of having. We try to teach the value of sharing. We have tried to teach that we should take care of those possessions we are blessed to have. We have tried to teach them that we can bless others by giving to them either some of our possessions, or money and resources as we are able. We have tried to teach them that Mom and Dad work diligently for our paychecks and that we must be wise and careful in how we spend these paychecks.

            With all of this teaching, we still have children who want more, who neglect what they have, and who do not see the blessings of God in their lives. But, lest you be quick to judge them as spoiled brats, let me ask you (and me): Do you want more? Do you neglect what you have? Do you see the blessings of God in your life? Has our consumer culture affected what you value?

            You see, I don’t just see my kids as the ones who want more. I have to look at myself in the mirror. When my teaching falls on deaf ears, I have to look at my own heart and determine if my teaching is not heard because my actions do not back up what my words proclaim. Am I double-minded, saying one thing but inwardly desiring something different? As I watch my children, I am learning so much about myself. The hard truth is that I too, sometimes, define myself by my possessions. As I am teaching my children, I must be reminded that I too need to lay a good foundation for the future, so that I may take hold of that which is truly life.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

The Pain of Stewardship

It started again yesterday. My son began with his wish list.

            “Dad, can you tell Santa that on Christmas I want the Sharks helmet that Joe Thornton wears. But, Dad, it has to be the black one, the one they wear at their home games. And I want the black Sharks hockey jersey that the Sharks wear at their home games. And it has to be the one with a number 19. And, can you tell Santa that I want a goalie mask like the one that the Sharks’ goalie wears. And …”

            Of course my daughter chimed in too. “And tell Santa that I want more Hello Kitty.”

            It was a painful conversation for me. Not only because Christmas is too many months away, but because my wife and I have been having the conversation about stewardship. Our conversation sounds like this: “After Christmas, we are not buying anything else. Our kids have more toys than they know what to do with. They have so much that they do not appreciate what they have. We need to teach them to respect what they get and be thankful. It’s our fault for caving in all the time and buying more.”

            So, less than a month after talking about our parental desire to teach our kids about proper stewardship, my kids were testing my resolve.

            I have been seriously considering stewardship over the past couple of months. I have also been considering how to teach my children about biblical stewardship. Since they are ages five and three, I think they are ready for some discipline in this area. And, in truth, we as parents have been lax about teaching our children about proper use of money, resources, and other stewardship principles. It is now time to start laying the foundation and teaching them some important life lessons in this area. We want to teach them about proper use of money, proper use of food, proper use of resources, proper use of our earth’s resources, and many other stewardship lessons.

            However, I think that it becomes so difficult for parents to teach and lead in this area because we so often fall short of the mark ourselves. And I think we as parents feel like hypocrites when we tell our children what is proper and right, when we struggle in those areas ourselves. We might ask ourselves questions such as these (and these are some of the questions I am asking myself):

-          Can I talk about spending within your means when I am swimming in a sea of debt?

-          Can I talk about budgets when I don’t live off of a budget?

-          Can I talk about giving your first and best to God, when I struggle to give to God?

-          Can I make my kids eat a proper meal when I most of my meals come from a fast-food wrapper?

-          Can I limit my kids’ sugar intake, when my arm is attached to an IV bag of corn syrup?

-          Can I tell my kids to give away their toys and clothes, when my closet looks like a room from the TV show “Hoarders”?

-          Can I talk about proper time management when I look like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off, running around the farm yard with no rhyme or reason?

-          Can I make my kids save a percentage of their allowance, when I have emptied my 401(k) to get me over this most recent financial setback?

-          Can I tell my kids to give to others and treat others with compassion, when I have no time to say “hello” to my neighbor?

-          Can I tell my kids that they need to give time to God, when I don’t read my Bible, or help with that ministry at my church home?

These are tough questions, and some require even tougher answers. When our children look into our lives, do these see lives ruled by spiritual discipline? It’s all right for our kids to see some failure in some areas. It’s all right for our kids to see us trying to resolve some of these issues in our own lives.

You know, the truth is that many times I act like my kids did yesterday, “God, give me, give me, and give me.” So, I am on a bit of a crusade this year to be better personally in the area of stewardship, and to begin to teach my children proper, biblical concepts of stewardship. How? I’ll tell you more in my next blog post. Until then, enjoy the many blessings you have received from the Lord.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

I Write; Therefore I am

“And the Lord answered me: ‘Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end, it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:2-3

            God’s word is spoken. But, God’s word is also a written word. Had the biblical writers not been instructed to write down the words of God, we probably would not have them today. God told Moses, Joshua, Habakkuk, Jeremiah, and others to write the words of life. We know of the Savior because people wrote the words He spoke during his earthly ministry. Many of the great thoughts of our ancestors were written by Christians. Where would our trust in God be today without the writings of Augustine, Milton, Bunyan, Luther, Edwards, and so many others?

            As I lead my family, I am aware of the reality that things which are not written down are not remembered. As I seek to establish a godly legacy with my children, I am cognizant that I must write things down, or they will be forgotten. I am sure that some of those times I share with my children in conversation will be remembered after they are grown and after I am gone. But, most of those words will be forgotten. So I must write down those things that are most important.

            I notice that if we write things down, they will be not only remembered but put into action. If I make a mental list of household tasks I want to accomplish, I will forget some of them. However, if I write them down, I am visibly reminded of my accomplishments, or my lack of accomplishment. This is also true when I seek to establish a family vision and mission. I have been thinking a lot about our family vision lately. What should our family look like 20, 30, 50 years down the road. What principles and ethics will we hold to as a family? The truth is, I have thought much about these things, but I have not written them down. So, they remain ethereal concepts which will never be enacted.

            I read Albert Mohler’s book The Conviction to Lead. In his book, he makes the point that one’s legacy is furthered by what one writes during his life. If I want to preserve a family legacy, and a family value code, it is necessary for me to write it down. Mohler makes the sobering point that the tombstones in a cemetery tell us very little about the person buried there. He reminds us that historically significant figures are forgotten today. But, he points out, those convictions that those people held can be passed on to future generations.

            I do not know much of my family history. I have a few stories that have been passed down. I have heard my parents tell stories of their parents, which help me know a little more about those people. But, I do not know their greatest hopes, their fears, or what they wanted to pass on to their children. I don’t think my life would be significantly altered if I did know those things about my ancestors, but it might impact how I live my life. My five-year-old son has been asking my wife and me to share stories of when we were children. He loves to hear those stories. He will probably remember some of those stories. But, I want to leave him with more than stories. I want to pass on my convictions and morals, as well.

            So, I want to write the stories of my past. I want to leave my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with the story of my life and what I held dear. I want them to understand my faith and my commitment to Jesus. I want them to know the values and principles by which I try to live my life. I want them to be able to pass on those principles and values to their children and grandchildren. I don’t want to be remembered for who I am and what I accomplish, but I do want to be remembered for whose I am and what He has accomplished.

            So this year, I will write. I will write the stories of my life. I will write the stories that have been told to me of my parents and grandparents. Who knows, I might even find out if my dad’s uncle was in truth a bank robber, as he claimed to be. But, I will also write my values, my convictions, my principles to share with my children when they are older and able to understand. I will continue to write letters to my children, telling them how much I love them and how much I enjoy watching them grow and mature. And I will write, with my family’s help, our family vision and principles. That is a legacy which I pray will be passed on long after I have left this earth.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.