My daughter will become a three-year-old later this month. She is the quieter, less needy of my children. Because of that, she sometimes gets lost or unnoticed as we deal with her older brother. So, it is not always easy to see her personality. As she is getting older, though, she is developing more of a personality, and as she does, I am learning a lot about her, and she is teaching me a lot, too. Here are some of the things I’ve learned from my daughter.
Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. My daughter has two facial expressions – her grumpy face and her smiling face. I think she gets her grumpy face from me. Her grumpy face, however, is adorable (mine is not so adorable). As much as I like her grumpy face (although I don’t like the attitude that comes with it), I adore her smiling face. Her smile really does light up a room (even if that is an overused cliché). But, her laughter is irresistible. My girl cannot laugh without others in the room laughing, too. I can take this life too seriously. I can forget to let Christian joy fill my life. My daughter has reminded me to laugh, and to find joy at all times.
Reading is important. My daughter loves to read (well, actually, she enjoys people reading to her). One night, I noticed how much she loves to read as I heard her “reading” the story with me. She had memorized the book we were reading, and could recite it by heart. She even “read” the book with the same inflections and pauses with which I read the book. She loves to go to the library and get new books to read. She has an advanced vocabulary, and always speaks with correct subject-verb agreement. How critically important it is to read to our children.
I have to watch my temper. My daughter has a temper. She gets that from me. Yes, I know that she is going through her “terrible twos,” but her temper is something that we are trying to control. But, I cannot be too quick to correct her temper tantrums when I still throw my own temper tantrums. Unfortunately, my daughter has seen me lose my temper and explode unnecessarily on more than one occasion. I am sorry that my daughter, and the rest of my family, have had to see my tantrums, and I want to do better for all of them, but especially for my daughter, who seems especially sensitive to harsh words.
Take time to focus on family. I accomplish tasks. I do, make, write, read, prepare, strategize, etc. I work, work, work. I find great satisfaction in my work and in work in general. I found that at home, though, I would spend time thinking about what I needed to do that day at work, or planning a to-do list. Then, I noticed that my daughter would politely come up to me asking to play. I found that stopping what I was doing and playing with her for ten minutes or longer was deeply satisfying to her and to me. Honestly, I find our playtime boring. It is repetitive as we “cook” dinner at her toy kitchen – over, and over, and over again. But she delights in spending time with me or her mother. I have learned to put away the work that I thought I needed to accomplish (most of it can indeed wait, or not get done with no worries) and spend time with my children. It is even becoming easier to shut my brain off and turn complete focus to my family. Last year, I would have considered my family a distraction from my more “important” work. Now I consider my family as most important. And as I focus more on them, I am learning more how important it is to be in relationship with God and to devote “my” time to Him.
I am a protective papa bear. Men know that one of the jobs of a husband and a father is to protect his family. We understand that on a mental level, but my daughter has taught me this on a heart level. My daughter is petite, and a charmer. Her smile melts hearts and can make grown men cry. And as I watch this small, precious child, my protective sense kicks into high gear. I do worry for her. She lives in a world of bullies and predators. She is vulnerable, and it is my job to protect her. As my thoughts have turned more toward protecting my daughter, I also have realized that I have become more protective of every member of my family. Honestly, I don’t know that I would have protected or defended my wife before my daughter was born to the same level as I will since she has been born. I now fight even more fiercely that my four-year-old son is allowed to remain innocent and hopeful rather than jaded and cynical. I may never have been asked to defend my country, but I will defend my family in a heartbeat. And that characteristic I learned from my daughter.
Time will tell what other lessons I learn from my precious girl.
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