Generational Parenting: The Gift that Keeps On Giving

My children have spent a good deal of time this past year with their grandparents. My parents live 30 minutes from our family. My wife’s parents live a thousand miles away. But, our kids will get to see my wife’s parents three times this year, including Christmas at our home. The kids get to spend the night with my parents once in a while, too.

            When I look back at my childhood, I know that these times with grandparents are important. I lost my maternal grandparents when I was six-years-old, my paternal grandfather when I was seven-years-old, and my paternal grandmother when I was twelve. My kids don’t know how important these memory making times are for them. I thank God that they have all of their grandparents. I also thank God that they are building great memories of these times.

            I appreciate how important the role of grandparenting is to the young child. My children adore their grandparents. My son follows both of his grandfathers everywhere they go. My daughter thinks the sun, moon, and stars orbit around her grandmothers. They love to hear stories about their grandparents as they were growing up. I think they love even more to hear their grandparents tell them stories of my wife and me as children.

            My son is learning things from his grandfathers that he cannot learn from me. My son is fascinated with hunting. I don’t hunt, but both of his grandfathers have hunted. They can tell him stories about tracking a deer or an elk and making the kill that simply leave him in awe. His grandfathers show my son their rifles or knives and he admires these men in his life who have provided for their families through hunting.

            My daughter is learning things from her grandmothers, too. She helps them cook, or bake cookies. She loves to spend the night with my mom, and my mom will paint my daughter’s fingernails. Grandma buys her pretty dresses. Granny (my wife’s mother) got her a jewlery box for her birthday.

            It is amazing to me how my son gravitates to his grandfathers while my daughter gravitates to her grandmothers. They seem to have that inate sense of maleness or femaleness, and they have turned to their grandparents in affirmation of that sense.

            Over Thanskgiving week, we traveled to my in-laws home. There, the kids got to run wild in their grandparent’s home. My son got to shoot rubber band guns that his Grampa had made. The kids got to play board games with their grandparents -- and my kids even played by the rules, without cheating!! We got to go into the woods and decorate a tree with pinecone ornaments dipped in peanut butter and bird seed, popcorn, and berries for the deer and rabbits to feast on. The kids got to ride in “Dead Red,” the family van that was built the same year my wife was born. Dead Red is a family legend, and the kids enjoyed riding in the legend. They searched for golf balls at the golf course adjacent to my in-laws house (and they found a couple to keep).

            We live in an age when children do not have the benefit of generational parenting. Often, families live far apart and cannot get together frequently. Our world is different from biblical times, when families lived in close proximity and a community was responsible for raising children into adulthood. I did not get to experience much of this generational parenting because my grandparents died when I was so young. My younger sister was too young to have any memories of her materal grandparents or her paternal grandfather. So I thank God for the blessings he is giving to my children. I also thank God that I can watch my parents show love to my children. As with all families, our family made mistakes and I didn’t always feel the love of both of my parents. But, as I watch my parents interact with love toward my children, I too am blessed.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Faith in the Captain of the Boat

            I’ll never forget the look of fear in her face. She was convinced that she would die in just a couple of minutes. Her fear was unmerited, yet it was real to her. As her face turned ashen white, and I could see the pallor of death in her face, I knew this would be a memory etched in my mind for the remainder of my life.

            It started as a mission trip to St John’s, Newfoundland, Canada in August 2008. I was on a team from my seminary. During our time in Newfoundland, we were often prevented from doing what we had planned due to inclement weather. On one of these days, our team had time off, and we chose to take a whale-watching boat tour in the bay of St John’s. As we left the dock, things were going well. It was smooth sailing, with the 40-foot boat gently rocking us back and forth. Then we left the smooth harbor, and entered the choppy waters of the Atlantic Ocean. The ride was no longer smooth. Within seconds, water rushed over the deck, soaking our pants with sea salt. Water sprayed our faces, and coated my glasses. At this point, the woman began to panic. She was not a member of our mission team. She clearly did not have faith in the boat, the captain, or God. If she had looked at the crew, she would have seen that they were not scrambling, or worried about the ship sinking. But, she could not see this, or could not rationalize through her fear. It was real. She was dying. Nothing could be done to save her. Or so she thought. Her husband tried to calm her. The crew members tried to reassure her, but she could not be calmed. I have never seen such a look of fright in anyone in my life.

            That woman’s fear was unfounded. She was unable to trust the captain of our boat. Yes, the waters were rough. But, it was an amazing adventure. We were able to see a pod of whales within feet of our boat. At one point, a whale swam under the boat and we could see it in the water. It was an amazing experience which she missed because, even after her initial fears were overcome, she went inside the cabin and could not come out of deck to see the spectacle.

            Since that time, I have often thought of that woman. When I am thinking about faith and trust in an unseen God, I will often remember her face. She was able to see the calm demeanor of captain and crew, yet she did not trust what she was able to see. I have often wondered if my faith is like hers, or if I have a stronger faith like what I see in the New Testament believers.

            But, her story also reminds me of my role as a father. In many ways, my children look to me as I looked to the captain of that boat. My children are looking to me to see that everything is alright. They are looking to me when the waves crash over the bow of the boat of life to make sure that they need not fear. They are looking at me to know the right course to steer as the waves rise and fall. Will I steer directly into the wave, or will I angle the boat so that we do not take a direct hit? What a responsibility. I feel the weight of their trust many times.

            I have noticed that when my wife and I are anxious, our children feed off of that anxiety and fret. There are times when my wife and I will casually say, “Uh, oh, we have a problem,” or “Oh this isn’t good,” as we read a news story and our children immediately become concerned, asking what is wrong. It’s never something that they need to worry about. We have had to reassure our son that the “bad guys” are not going to break into our house at night and hurt us (we tell him our dog will bark and scare them off). This week, when a conversation involved someone burglarizing our home, we had to assure him that no one was going to break into our home (and why would they, the only thing we have of any value is our Blu-Ray player). My kids are looking to me for what is right and wrong, how to treat other people, when to help other people, and whom to trust.

            I am the guardian for my children at this stage in their lives. As they grow older, I pray that having learned some of the basics about faith and trust, that they will be able to make their own wise choices about what is right and wrong, how to treat others, and whom to trust. What a great reminder that God has entrusted me, for a very short period of time, with His children to guide and nurture. And what a great reminder that ultimately I need to impart to them the assurance that they can place faith in Jesus. They can trust him completely. He will never be unsure where to steer the boat, and He will never be wrong and sink the boat. That woman may have been correct in not placing complete trust in the captain of that whale-watching boat. My children will be right to question my legitimacy as captain in the coming years. But, my prayer is that they never question the ability of God to be captain and that they are able to place complete faith in Him. Regardless of the waves of life they will experience in life, Lord, may they trust in You.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

What Should We Teach our Children About Sin?

Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7

            The words of God, spoken to the people of Israel, are as relevant for the Christian today as they were so many years ago. God charges the people to take the lead in raising the next generation to know the Lord. As I look at American Christianity in the 21^st Century, I am worried that we may be falling short in this area, as we shy away from teaching our children about the Bible, or we “outsource” the teaching to our churches and Sunday School teachers.

            My concern started when I was putting my five-year-old son to bed one night. As is our custom, I was reading a couple of books to him before bedtime. He picked the books, and one book was a children’s Bible story book which had the account from Genesis 22 where Abraham is told by God to sacrifice his son Isaac. Of course, I know the story, and I know the ending of the story. Abraham travels three days with his Isaac, prepares an altar for the sacrifice, lays his son on the altar, and then hears the voice of God telling him to stop the slaughter. God then provides a ram to be sacrificed in place of Isaac. The episode is a test of Abraham’s faith in God.

            On that night, my son saw the illustration of Abraham, hand raised over his head, ready to thrust a knife into Isaac’s flesh. My son asked to read that story, and I diverted his attention to the previous story, telling about the birth of Isaac. I thought the story was too weighty for him to digest. A couple of days later, my son picked the same book at bedtime, turned to the story and asked me to read it to him. And I did. After reading the story, I talked to him about the meaning of the episode, and explained to him that while God prevented Abraham from sacrificing his son because of God’s love, that many years later God would allow His own Son to be sacrificed because of His love for us. I talked about the goodness and righteousness of God, and our rebellion against Him. I told him that the sin was so costly that an animal’s blood sacrifice was required to remedy the transgression. And I told him that according to the Bible, Jesus became the final sacrifice for humanity’s sin.

            My son was understandably upset by the story. I can understand. The story wounds me on the deepest levels, as I come to terms with my sin, the penalty for that sin, and the obedient response of my Savior to lose His life that I might have eternal life. I am overwhelmed with emotion when forced to consider my response if God had asked me to do something similar. And I become overwhelmed with emotion when I realize God did the very thing he would not let Abraham do. My son acted out and hit me as I explained the story to him. I was unable to determine if his violence was a result of the ram that was sacrificed (he does care for animals), the magnificent sacrifice of Jesus, or the realization that he is disobedient to God. He was visibly moved, and tears were in his eyes. I did not tell him that I was holding back my own tears as I read the story to him.

            Since that night, I have been considering what we teach our children about the Bible. I lead a children’s Sunday School class at my church. As I looked at the curriculum, I have become aware that what we teach our children is often not enough. Our Sunday School lessons, which are age graded, teach our children that Noah survived the Flood in an ark, but do not teach why God brought the deluge. The lessons teach our children that God gave Moses the Ten Commandments, but do not teach what those commandments are or why they are important. The lessons teach that Jesus healed a paralytic man, but do not tell how he first forgave that man of his sin, or what sin is. And our lessons teach the children that Jesus loved his friends (disciples) but only tell of His crucifixion on a surface level.

            I understand that age-graded material will be limited, and appropriately so. I do understand that preschool-age children are not cognitively able to process big-concept ideas. However, as I look at more advanced material for older children, I have found that some of the central doctrines of the faith, including the Fall, sin, and Christ’s atonement are treated superficially. It is as if we don’t want to alarm our children by telling them they are in rebellion against God. It is as if we would rather teach morality rather than God’s mercy and grace. It seems easier to tell children that God wants you to do this and not do that, rather than walk them through these more difficult, but essential truths. And, I am afraid that this easy faith is not just found in our Sunday School curriculum, but in our churches and our homes.

            Which begs the question: Did I tell my son too much on that night I read the Abraham story and then pushed it forward to talk about Jesus’ crucifixion? Is he too young to understand? I don’t think so. I appreciate that he may not totally understand the connection between Isaac and Jesus. I understand that he cannot process more abstract concepts. But, he can understand that some of the things he does are disobedient acts. He can understand that that there is consequence for wrong acts. It’s often easy to give a simple, or a “cheap” answer to our children to quell a deeper conversation that delves into areas with which we are uncomfortable. But this does not mean we are acting correctly when we do so.

            During that evening I prayed for the Holy Spirit to anoint that time and use that time to plant seeds in my son’s life. My prayer, then and now, is that one day the Spirit will draw my son into a faith relationship with Jesus. But, my prayer has also developed in this area, so that I am now praying for all of those children being “raised” in the church. My prayer is that we can teach them all of the truth of Scripture. My prayer is that we would not shy away from the difficult questions. My prayer is that we would be able and willing to impart the whole reality of the biblical message. My prayer is that parents and grandparents would be so biblically literate that they can teach their children and grandchildren, as God told the Israelites to teach their children. My prayer is that the next generation learns God’s truth, the whole of God’s truth, and nothing but God’s truth. And my prayer is that this truth sets them free.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Lessons I've Learned from My Wife

Today, my wife and I celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary. I have been blessed to have such a beautiful and understanding woman in my life. Our marriage has had its ups and downs. Some of those up and downs were the results of our actions or selfishness (Mostly my selfishness). Some of those ups and downs were external drivers that had an impact on our relationship. However, through it all, I count myself greatly blessed by my wife. I also have learned many lessons from her that have drawn me closer to her, and have drawn me closer to God. I’d like to share some of those lessons.

            Generosity My wife is naturally generous. She takes great joy in giving to others. She may give her time by listening. She may give her money for a cause or purpose. She loves to give. She takes great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for a person. I have to admit, I sometimes have tunnel vision and am unaware of needs people around me may have. My wife helps me see those needs, and more importantly, find generous ways to serve those needs. I also tend to have a tighter hand around our pocketbook. But, my wife has opened me up to see needs and to be willing to meet some of those needs financially. Because of her generosity, we have taken memorable vacations with friends and family members. Because of her generosity and heart, we have sponsored a child through World Vision. Because of her generosity, we have sent memorable “just because” gifts to people who have received those gifts when they most needed them. Her generosity is an extension of the generosity that God has shown me. How incomprehensible to me that the Lord of the universe humbled Himself to become a man like me and generously gave His life that I might have life. Compared to His generosity, a smaller pocketbook, or an evening spent listening to others seems a small “sacrifice” for me to make.

            Character Matters Two years ago, I was going through a difficult time. I had to make some decisions that really upset a number of people. Over a period of six months, I was met constantly with people who were willing to vociferously proclaim that my decisions were wrong. To this day, I feel my decisions were right and warranted; however, during that time I had to listen as my name and reputation were reviled daily. I wanted to go on the attack and defend myself and my choices. But, I did not. During this time, my wife stood beside me, reminding me that at the end of the day my reputation was dependent upon my character. If I had fought back, my character would have been damaged. It was my wife who first voiced the statement that would become our family motto, “We always do what is right.” How often I have thought about that statement. How often that statement has prevented me from doing things that are not right. My wife understood that we are defined by our character. My wife also understood that as Christians, it is not just our reputation that is at stake, but also Christ’s reputation that hangs in the balance of our actions. I am not perfect, and I’ll readily admit that. But, I do try to live by that motto for me, for my family, and for my Lord.

            People Matter Like most men, I tend to walk through life thinking primarily about myself and my concerns. My wife is more intuitively plugged in to other people’s hurts and burdens. I am sure God wired men and women differently in this area for a grand purpose. I see the purpose manifested in my marriage as my wife makes me more sensitive to the pain other people are experiencing. I suppose it could be said that I can be harsh or undiplomatic at times. If I see a problem, I am quick to offer a solution. I just don’t always offer that solution with tact. My wife, on the other hand, takes great pains to be sensitive to another person’s feeling when she speaks to them. When she has to confront a sinful attitude in someone else, she is careful in choosing her words. She prays over the meeting. She replays the conversation in her head, worrying that she came across too harshly. She deals with people compassionately. I am learning so much from her in this area. I do care about people, and I do want them to live healthy lives that glorify God. Watching my wife, and emulating her, is helping me so much.

            Confront When Necessary I don’t like a fight. I avoid confrontation whenever I can. My wife does not seek out confrontations, but when she sees something that needs to be confronted, she is unafraid to take up that challenge. But, she is not rude or domineering. My wife has a God-given ability to correct and confront people with mercy. She has a great amount of wisdom, and she is able to sift through a lot of information or misinformation to get to the heart of a problem. That in itself is a talent. But, I am amazed at how effectively and mercifully she can analyze a problem, and confront a person commandingly. She can give you a good tongue lashing, and you are thankful that she has done so!! She also helps me confront things that I would like to avoid, generally by giving me a much-needed but merciful “talking to.” And I am grateful to her for holding me accountable to confront wrong and uphold truth. She’s not a punk fighter, she chooses the right fights, and fights them is a godly, upright way.

            Work as a Team We have two kids, ages five and three. Anyone who has raised kids knows that they will wear you down. You also know that they will work every angle to get what they want, even if it means turning their parents against each other. But, in our home, my wife is quick to see that and refuses to fall for it. Her influence has had a positive impact on our family. We are the Hale family. We are a team. Every person has a role to play. Every person in our family has value. We are stronger united than we can ever be individually. And we seek to build each other up. And what a great feeling I receive from building someone else up. I want to extend that outside of my family and build up those I meet in my neighborhood, at my church, and in my community.

            Listen Well All right, so I haven’t learned all of these lessons well. This is a case in point. My wife is teaching me how to be a better listener. And I have a lot of work and many bridges to cross in this area. I am quick to hear part of her speech, and then work of “fixing” a problem for her. I also am quick to formulate my response midway through her speech, rather than waiting to hear all that she has to say and then responding. And, my wife always wants me to respond to her comments, which can be hard for me. I often ask, “What am I supposed to say to that?” and her response is, “You could say, ‘Oh,’ or “Hmmm,” or “I’m sorry to hear that.’” You get the point. Sometimes I’m a dunce. My wife, however, really knows how to listen and listen well. She really values listening and listening well, so she expends effort to make it real. She embodies James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” I’m learning, honey.

            Wow, I am blessed. I serve a great God and have a great life partner. How lucky am I? Here’s to eight more years of growing together and richly growing in the Lord.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Rock Hound

I am a rock hound. I have a small collection of rocks. Of course, these are not run-of-the-mill rocks. I have geodes, rocks with amethyst and quartz, and others. It amazes me that our creative God spent so much time developing the variety we see in these rocks. If I was in the place of God, and I was feeling creative, I might have developed a dozen different style of rocks. If I were in the place of God, and I were creating gemstones, I would have come up with a handful, and called it a day. But, as I look at the world around me, I see so much diversity in rocks and gemstones. Just consider the fact that there are so many types and colors oF sapphire, or ruby, or quartz.

            Then I look around more at the world God created. I see the rich tapestry of color. There are so many hues of color. One body of water can display an almost infinite number of colors. A tree can display a plethora of shades of green and brown. I read somewhere that different cultures see a different number of colors in a rainbow. So, while I see six or seven colors in a rainbow, other cultures see two colors, and other cultures see 20 colors. As I look at the world around me, I begin to see the great tapestry of color that God has created, and see more of the richness God designed.

I love to garden. I am impressed by the variety that can be found in a garden. Not only can one see the different legumes, lettuces, and root vegetables, but one can see so many different cultivars and types of each fruit and vegetable. Have you ever really considered how many types of lavender there are in the world? How many roses are there? Or tomatoes? As I look through a gardening catalogue, I can find three dozen different types of apple trees, or cherry trees, or strawberry plants.

Did you know that a zebra stripes are a lot like human fingerprints? No two zebras have the same set of stripes. Just as no two snowflakes have the same structures, so no two giraffes have the same markings. Isn’t that amazing? It seems that there is no limit to the differences that God can create in our world.

The same is true of humanity. We all are unique (truly one-of-a-kind, not one in every ten thousand).  Would that I could look at people with the same wonder and awe with which I view the rest of God’s creation. But, truth be told, rather than see wonder in the difference, often I am critical of the differences God created in people. Yes, I can appreciate the differences in the sexes. I can appreciate the differences in the races. But, I tend to become more critical of other differences. Why, I ask, is she so emotional? Why is he so tall? Why is his face so plain? Why are her freckles so prominent? While I value the differences in other parts of God’s creation, I often question the value of the differences in people. I think things would be simpler if everyone had the same speaking style, or emotional character. I think things would be simpler if we were all created with similar likes and dislikes, or the same work ethic, or similar worldviews. Do you sometimes find yourself wondering at God’s creation, but questioning His foresight in creating people so differently, like I do?

How shameful that my thoughts run in these ways. Everything that God created is good. But, more importantly, God’s word says that people are created in the very image of God Himself. Unlike a citrine, or a cucumber, or a chimpanzee, people are a reflection of God. Every time we question the value of a person He created, we insult God. Every time we thank Him for the beauty of a mountaintop and do not thank Him for the wonder of a lanky teenage boy, we dishonor God.

So, I will continue to be a rock hound. I will continue to be awestruck by the differences in those rocks I collect. But, they will also serve as a reminder that I need to be awestruck by each and every person God has uniquely formed.

For more Faith of This Father, you can like the Faith of This Father page on Facebook or follow on Twitter @faithotfather. Or email me at faithofthisfather@yahoo.com.

Expecting Too Much from My Kids?

My son turned 5-years-old this week. That means I’ve been a daddy for almost six years. My son, and my three-year-old daughter, have never known a time when their daddy was not a pastor. They are being raised in the church. They are the kids who are always at Sunday school. It is a given that our kids are signed up and attending Vacation Bible School. I am happy about that. I see my children developing a love and appreciation for God.

            I also enjoy the conversations I have with my children – especially my son -- about the Christian faith. As he tries to wrap his mind about the bigger truths of the Bible and doctrine, he can ask some provocative questions. He tries to understand the Trinity. When an elder member of our congregation died, he spent lots of time asking about life and death (“Where do we go when we die?” “What happens to our bodies?” “Will my fish go to heaven?”). He asks where heaven is, why we cannot see God, and what the new heaven and new earth will be like. I treasure his questions and try as best as I can to answer the questions.

            But, I realize that I expect more from my kids than I would typically expect from any other person. Unfortunately, my tendency has been to teach them a false gospel when I expect too much from them. Let me explain what I mean.

            There is no denying that the children of a pastor are held to a different level of scrutiny than other children. They do live in a glass bowl. I know every pastor tells his congregation that he is the pastor, his children are not, and that his children should not be held to a different standard from other children. While we try to uphold that, the truth is that our children are held to a different standard. If my son or daughter “acts up” in worship service, it is noticed more than if another child acts up. Unfortunately, I also expect that my children behave far differently than other children simply because they are pastor’s kids, and I don’t want to be embarrassed. But, my 5-year-old and 3-year-old kids are not fully developed and they are subject to misbehavior and doing things all kids do.

            I also have found that I expect more of my kids outside of the church building. I expect their behavior to be exemplary. While I may not vocalize it, my thought is “If I have told you once, I have told you a hundred times, so why don’t you get it?” If I talked to my son yesterday about why he should not hit his sister, I expect that he will remember the talk, control the emotional response that caused him to hit his sister, and react in the correct way every time. If I told my daughter last week to put away one toy before taking another one out to play with, I become aggravated when she does not do what is appropriate this week.

            Then it struck me, I am expecting my children to do what they are emotionally and sometimes physically incapable of doing. At their ages, they do not have the cognitive ability I expect from them. But, there is something even more damaging at work here.  I am teaching them a works-based, rather than a grace-based faith. For those of you who don’t speak Christianese, what I am saying is that I expect my children to earn my favor through their behavior. I expect that their actions will be appropriately moderated to do what is right. And when it is not “right” I reprimand them.

            Please do not misunderstand; I am not advocating that we not discipline our children. God’s word tells us that our good Father disciplines those he loves (Hebrews 12:7-11, for example). It is right that I expect my children to act in a civil way in public. It is right that I train my children how they are to treat others. It is appropriate to teach my children that they do not fight, or steal, or cheat. However, I find that my unspoken expectation is that you do what is right, because I have already told you what is right; and if you don’t do what is right, you will not earn my favor. How tragic.

            I preach a message that says God by His mercy and good favor draws people to an eternal relationship with Him by what Jesus accomplished on the cross. Jesus became the once-for-all sacrifice to cleanse people of sin and make right what was undone by the Fall. And I preach that there is nothing that we can do in our human strength to earn the favor and mercy of God. We cannot work enough, or do enough, or pay enough to win God’s forgiveness. Instead, He gives it to us as a free, unearned gift.

            That’s what I preach from the pulpit. But at home, I preach a different gospel. I preach that favor can be earned. I preach that works do result in mercy. I preach that you can pay your way (through your right actions) into relationship and blessing. Unfortunately, I fear that too many of us preach this same gospel at home, while proclaiming a vastly different gospel in the marketplace. The truth is that I do love my kids, even when they mess up. I know you love your kids when they drop the ball, too. But, are we being too quick to teach them that what we speak is different than what we truly believe? Are we unknowingly teaching our kids that their perfect Father really does expect certain actions and Reponses in order for them to receive His good gift?        

            I know that God expects that His followers will walk in the good works that He has prepared for them from before the world was created. I know that God is pleased as our walk of faith aligns more closely and perfectly with His perfect way. And I know my Father is not looking at me and thinking, “If I have told you once, I have told you a hundred times, so why don’t you get this?” He certainly could ask that question. And He would be right to reprimand me for my repeated failings. But, instead, I know He looks at me with love. He revels in the “successes” and works through me in the “failures.” And isn’t that what I want to model for my children? Thank God for His goodness to me. It’s time for some grace-based parenting.

My Dirty Little Secret

I have to confess my dirty little secret. I try to hide it from friends when they come to visit me and my family at our home. I attempt to keep up the veneer of respectability by keeping this hidden. And I do a pretty good job at hiding my secret. Yet, whenever friends come over, I fear they will discover the secret. It would be so easy for them to do so. When I go out to my car in the morning, I wonder if my neighbors -- who surely catch glimpses of my secret -- are judging me or talking behind my back. So, I’ve decided it’s time to come clean.

            Watch this video to find out about my secret. Don’t worry; you don’t need to remove your parental controls to view the video. I promise, there is no nudity, just a baring of my soul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CxVBhyVdFs&feature=plcp