There's Hope for Us Yet

Over the past few years, I have learned a lot about myself. Specifically, I have learned that my view of God is skewed.

I am a perfectionist. I want everything to be right all the time. I will do everything in my power to make everything right.

But these last few years, everything was not right. God has taken my "perfect" world and turned it upside down.

I used to think that I had most of the answers. I used to think that I could explain everything with simple platitudes. When people struggled with faith in God, I was able to give all of the "correct" answers. Inwardly, I pitied those people for their lack of faith. All you had to do was follow some simple guidelines for a perfect life with God.

I am sure God watched me with dismay. He knew that I needed a slap in the face and an admonition to "snap out of it."

I got that slap in the face. Those things that I found to be so "easy" became difficult. It became difficult to trust in God when my world crashed around me. I fell into despair. My family suffered as a result. Suddenly, my "perfect" life was no longer perfect. It was not even close to perfect. I was wrecked.

I am finding that God does not want a "perfect" person. I always knew this logically. Over the past few years, God has gently guided me to know this in my heart.

I am now at a point in my life where I can say that I am a tragic failure. Everything I thought I could hold together with my perfectionism I lost hold of. I could do nothing by being a perfectionist, or by being the best at X,Y, or Z.

It took me a long time to realize that God could and desired to use this broken vessel of a man. Truthfully, I still have a lot to learn in this area. Gradually I am learning.

There is biblical evidence showing that there is hope for me yet. I need look no further than the first book of the Bible.

Genesis shows me men who failed over and over again. From the very beginning, Adam failed. I used to see this simply as a story of man's failure. Looking at the story again, I now see that God chose to use a broken Adam after his transgression.

The patriarchs offer great examples of God's willingness to use broken men in great ways. Abraham is considered righteous by God. Even when he lies about his spouse, Sarah, being his sister (twice) to save his own life in a foreign land.

His son Isaac repeats his lie. Isaac also causes family strife by favoring one son over another. His sons, Jacob and Esau, have a decades-long feud after Jacob lies and steals his brother's blessing.

Jacob not only lies to his father and brother, but later lies to his uncle (father-in-law). Jacob is deceitful in almost all of his dealings. Yet, God uses a broken vessel like Jacob for a greater good.

Jacob's sons deceive and murder. One of the most remarkable things about the Genesis account is that Joseph, Jacob's son, is able to break from a generational proclivity to deceit to exhibit righteous behavior time and time again.

Joseph's righteousness gives me hope.

I have made mistakes. I have hurt my family and been less than they deserve. I am more like Jacob than Joseph. Yet, God willingly chose both Jacob and Joseph and worked through each of them.

God shows us that he is in the business of using imperfect people to bring about exceptional things.

While I was "perfect" I couldn't be used by God effectively. Now that I am a broken vessel, God can use me in extraordinary ways. There is hope for us yet.

How about you? How has God used you, a broken vessel, to do His good work? Or are you still finding that there's hope for you?