What an Oversized Mouse Taught Me About Family

My family recently returned from a Southern California vacation. We went to Disneyland and California Adventure. During our time at the theme parks, I took note of a number of things Disney did attempting to make our experience one which we would remember. How could the “Happiest Place on Earth” teach me about creating happiness within my family? Let me share with you some of the lessons I learned from Mickey Mouse and his cohorts.

            Stick with the Classics: Disneyland remains basically the same as when I first visited in the 1980’s. You’ll find the same rides (although a couple, like Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, and The Nemo Submarine, have been updated to better represent more recent movies). You can still watch “Steamboat Willie,” the original Mickey Mouse film on Main Street. You can get your pictures taken with the classic Disney characters. I feel at home when I visit the park because I know what to expect. There are not a lot of changes. Shouldn’t it be the same with family? You know what to expect. The classics remain in place. You can trust that on Christmas Eve, someone will read the Christmas story from the Gospel of Luke. And, might I be so bold as to suggest that even though there are many expression of family in today’s world, the traditional family unit still has intrinsic value. It’s a classic, and people find comfort in the traditional.

            Know What the People Want and Give it to Them:  I went to Disneyland shortly after the release of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” The park promoted that movie to excess. Quasimodo and Esmeralda were everywhere. The problem was that the film, as good as it was, was not a family friendly movie. I think Disney learned something from that excessive promotion of one movie. Today at the park, you’ll find those characters that have stood the test of time and are beloved by so many. Quasimodo isn’t to be found. You’re out of luck if you want to see Hercules or characters from “The Black Cauldron.” Even the recent “Brave” is scarcely represented in the park (you can meet Merida and have a picture taken with her) and Wreck-It Ralph was nowhere to be seen. You see, the Disney folks know what people want. They want to see Peter Pan, Dumbo, Snow White, Cinderella, and Donald Duck. And the Disney folks deliver. Years ago when I visited the park, it was sometimes difficult to find the characters and get pictures taken with them. Not so today. People want to meet Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and Donald Duck, so Disney has created a place at the entrance of the park to meet them. You can also meet Mickey at his house and Minnie at her house in Toontown. My daughter loves Cinderella, Ariel, and Rapunzel. Guess what? Disney has created a meet-and-greet area where you can talk to the princesses. Looking for Tinker Bell? She can be found at Pixie Hollow. Disney is aware of what people are looking for and has delivered. You not only find your classic rides, but you can get your picture taken with your favorite classic characters. You should have seen the look of wonder on my daughter’s face as she got to talk to Cinderella. Her look was rivaled only by my son’s awe last year when he got to meet Woody. As a leader in my family, it is important that I know what each member of the family wants and needs. To the best of my ability, I should be able to deliver (within reason) on what each family member wants. Does someone need more time and attention? Does someone need more reassurance? If I know what my family members want, I can better deliver on those desires or those needs.

            The Journey is As Important As the Payoff: When you go to a Disney theme park, you know that you will have to wait in line. It’s one of the three givens in life; you know, death, taxes, and waiting in line for Splash Mountain. But, the Disney engineers have brilliantly taken time to make the wait in line as enjoyable as possible. They have created an experience at each queue. You are treated to scenes from movies while waiting in line. Buildings, artwork, and props create ambiance as you wait in line for a ride. In some venues, the attention to detail given is just as good a payoff as the actual ride. Yes, there would be a great letdown if there was no ride at the end, but I found some of the details from the line just as enjoyable as some of the rides. The same can be true in family life as well. Often, we look to the end game and forget what comes in between. For example, I can be so invested in teaching my son how to tie laces on his shoes, that I forget to see the growth during the process. We can be so invested in getting that kid through sixth grade math, that we fail to see her development throughout the sixth grade year. Would we feel let down if we invested time and effort in developing a character trait in a child and never see it materialize? Of course we would feel let down. But, I sometimes forget to enjoy the journey and only look for the final payoff.

            There Are Rules that Must Be Followed: Even at the Happiest Place on Earth, there are rules. You have to wait in line for rides. You must be a certain height to ride some attractions. You cannot special order your food at most restaurants. You must keep hands and legs inside your car at all times. The best way to maintain an enjoyable experience for everyone at the park is for everyone to adhere to Disney’s rules. If someone disobeys the rules, the ride may stop or the violator may be escorted out of the park. While Disney caters to what people want, there are still parameters to follow. The same is true in family life. While we do our best to give all family members what they want and/or need, there must be some guidelines and rules. Those who violate the rules lose some privileges. I want my kids to have opportunities to do so much, but there must be some boundaries set or else I am giving them a false understanding of how the world functions.

            Check Your Attitude at the Door:  Once the Disney staff enters the park, he or she represents the Disney brand. And that means that they must represent Disney in a positive manner. If they are having a bad day or worries, they must check those things at the door and put on a happy face. The only time you’ll see a grumpy Disney person is near Snow White and six other Dwarfs. This is a good reminder for me. Sometimes I let the worries and problems of my day to seep into time with family. However, my family needs me to put on my best attitude and invest my best in the moment. That isn’t easy, and I often fail. But, my time at Disneyland served as a reminder that this should be a primary objective in my life.

            Here’s to a great summer of making memories that will last a lifetime.

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